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You should ALWAYS be in a "relationship" with yourself first

October 13, 2017


Over the last few years, you will hear complaints from women about how hard it is to find the "ideal" man or a stable relationship. Most times this will be justified as the reality being that we have grown as a society and you have other demands and expectations. Others say that you should not settle for less when you know that you are sure that you deserve the best.


However, I would like to challenge you to analyze the fact that in order for you to be in a relationship with anyone, you first have to undergo a relationship with yourself. Humans are creatures of habits, and we will reciprocate what we see. If an individual realizes that they can manipulate you, because you have yet to learn to love yourself, it will be easier for you to settle for anything without any further demands.


A relationship with yourself starts by practicing self love and understanding what your body, mind and spirit seeks from a potential partner. In order for you to translate this, you have to stand firm and clear in your beliefs and also in the ability to portray self love. Everything we do in life, is a confirmation and a testimony to us and our relationship with ourselves. It is the only constant relationship that you will ever have in your life AND everything is a reflection of the love you have for yourself. Remember that life is experienced through you, not outside of you. Your perception of yourself will greatly determine the experience you have of your entire life. This means that if you want a spectacular life, then you better have an spectacular relationship with yourself!


This why you see many of us will go from partner to partner, looking  to fill a void that no one can fill, no matter how hard they try to. Why, you may ask? Because as long as we do not ensure filling that space our self with unconditional love, no one will be able to do so for us. Let us not forget about the social demographics  that indeed can attribute to never being able to love yourself. Studies and facts have shown that there are indeed vicious social cycles, constant fight for gender equity, lack of strong foundations for our youth, lack of global leaders that will enhance various educational and emotional platforms. I believe that this is a message that has to be passed on as early as daycare, some may not have a family that can instill self love at home from a young age, making it difficult for you to develop this self love during your growth.


Do not get me wrong, I am in no way and advocate for loneliness and misery.  But what I am saying is that if we put half the focus that we do on finding a partner, in ourselves, we would be happier human beings.


It also does not help that social media influences what a "perfect relationship" should be and that many are blinded by an illusion that is taken with a smart phone and that lasts 10 seconds. It is imperative for you to realize that a real relationship is not based on sharing your status with the world, but in sharing the substantial moment with the person you love. As a Blogger and marketer, of course Social Media is a big part of my life...for business purposes mostly. It would be hypocritical of me to tell you, that it is not important. The world is driven by what is projected over the internet, sometimes not in the best of views.


The longer you take to accept, love and idolize yourself for your net worth, the harder it will be for people to genuinely love you and respect you for who you are and what you can bring to the table as an equal partner in a relationship.


The other part that scare men off (in this case), is women that make more money than them, or are more intelligent than them or even hold a higher authority figure in our society. Again, if you cannot show them that you love yourself, with all the good, the bad and the ugly, they will not be able to fill that need that you have been looking for all your life.  The most important relationship in life, is the one that you have with yourself and God, for those are the 2 relationships that will ultimately define your destiny and your happiness.

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